Why experts disagree about the exclamation point

When this article describing exclamation point-related stress came out a few weeks ago, several people sent it to me. That’s because they know I’m a writing coach, an editor and a generous user of the exclamation point. If you look at the research cited in the article, this makes sense: I’m a millennial and I’m a woman. Both groups tend to use exclamation points (and emojis, but that’s a topic for another day) in order to avoid sounding terse, annoyed or bossy in emails and texts.

The article tells the stories of several employees who found themselves reading a text or email the wrong way—or having their own words misinterpreted—all because there weren’t as many exclamation points as we, especially younger professionals, have come to expect. In the most dramatic example, one millennial employee believed she was getting fired when her boss, who usually peppers her writing with multiple exclamation marks, responded to a text with “that’s fine.”

In this recent article and others like it, the exclamation point emerges as another thing my generation is overdoing—the editorial equivalent to avocados, LaCroix, selfies and millennial pink.

A few months ago, my colleague David Lipscomb and I were co-leading a webinar series when someone hit us with an exclamation point question—and we disagreed! Live! Far from being embarrassed, we took the opportunity to laugh about it and share our respective rationales with the group.

To David, a baby boomer, excessive exclamations telegraph insincerity and should be saved for emphasis when something is truly dramatic or extraordinary.

To me, exclamation points convey warmth, energy and humor. Without them, I read text as flat, clipped or even annoyed.

We were happy to disagree—and publicly—because our discussion highlighted a fundamental truth that we’re constantly telling our clients: writing is social. We took the opportunity to tell our workshop group about the many client-facing emails we’ve run by each other before sending. These exchanges usually involve me telling David we sound grumpy, and him telling me to tone down the !!!s.

“It sounds like we hate them!” I’ll caution, while he suggests, “alright, put one exclamation point at the end, if you must.” Now, I usually write an email the way that feels intuitive (exclamation points everywhere), and then go back and remove all but one…or two.  As a result, my emails are less manic after David reads them, and his are more cheerful after my edits.

And that’s what we hope our students will remember: although we’re both writing experts, neither of us is a perfect writer or editor alone. It’s so easy to see where other writers can improve their wording, but so difficult to accurately gauge the impression our own editorial choices are making. That’s why the millennial employees in the WSJ article thought they were getting fired, while their bosses just thought they were answering a question efficiently.

“Show it to someone else” is advice we end with in all of our classes, from Social Media Writing to Client Writing. But we know that most writers still hesitate to do it.

When you’re writing something important, the first person to see it should never be the one who’s approving your request, evaluating your application, or buying from your company. That’s like launching a product without doing any focus groups—it’s bad business!

So whether you love or hate the exclamation point, consider that, with any editorial choice, you don’t really know how it will be received until you share it. That’s why at Bold Type we train teams to write and edit, but also teach them to give each other better feedback during the writing process.

We dare you to show one thing you wrote to a friend or colleague today. Nobody produces their best writing alone—not even writing coaches. And if you’re not convinced yet, we’ll be sharing more When Writing Experts Disagree anecdotes on our blog. We have plenty!